Links for the rejected:

Interviewer: Well, looking over your resume that you wrote on a used paper napkin, I really do not see what qualifies you for this job as Web Developer or any job here. Job Seeker: Well sir, it says my last name is Short...nephew to Chris Short, the janitor. Interviewer: Excellent! Who cares about finding a Web Developer for this job. Tell Chris I said hello...and the bathrooms look spotless. Oh yes...Welcome aboard!

And the letter reads:

Dear Ms. Smith

Your expressed interest in employment with the Chippewa County Health Department is sincerely appreciated.

We regret to inform you that you were not selected for an interview for the Public Health Clerk position at the present time. As a policy of the agency, your resume will be kept on file for one (1) year. Please feel free to update your application at any point during this time.

Sincerely,

Some Executive Assistant